Sunday, July 05, 2009

one word: tear

it was red
it tore me to my core

it inverted &

i was spleen

spleening myself

all over the floor

does anyone even care


would you

could you

have you lately

i haven't even tried




Anonymous Teresa said...

I like this one, Murat. I like that the title could be tear as in tearing open and tear as in shedding tears, and either one works. I also like the first three lines, especially "it tore me to the core." I read it through four times, and each one got better.

7:00 PM  
Blogger murat11 said...

Thank you, Teresa. I've been internally (okay, not just internally) feuding with the one-worders; with this round, I reinstated myself on probationary status. It helped to write in verse, the rhythms come more naturally and quickly, and the clock did not seem so oppressive.

Trust your move is going well. I was doing some Qigong and Tai Chi exercises with Tina earlier (I studied both in my last years in New Orleans); wondered if these were a part of your lives.

7:33 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

The move is not so bad. Joshua and the kids are doing most of it. He as self-imposed penance, the kids because my allergies got real bad the first day from the dust and cleaning fluids, so I had to retreat to a room with an air purifier. We're close enough to Disney that i can use the free resort wifi many hours of the day and continue to get online.

I do qigong breathing exercises. I used to do taichi and one shaolin boxing form. A motorcycle accident damaged both knees and I can't do the shaolin any more at all, sometimes not the taichi. But I do qigong breathing twice a day without fail. It really helps with the allergies.

9:32 PM  
Blogger murat11 said...

Teresa: Hope the purifier is helping. Mine saved my life during this past winter's usual cedar fever. I'd haul it around from room to room and even took it to my classroom: made all the difference in the world.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

It does help considerably.

8:48 AM  
Blogger anno said...

You certainly are on a tear these days; a sixty-second tearrorist?

I, for one, have enjoyed the refraction of these one-word exercises through the lens of your own multi-faceted prism. Love the red font in this one...

9:23 AM  
Blogger murat11 said...

Anno: I'm still not sure what to make of these things. Like Quin Browne, I may find another place to stash them. Perhaps the KOB wouldn't mind a sublet. It irritated me that this little exercise was giving me fits, so of course, I had to see if I could conquer it. I end up writing most of my poems in under five minutes, so I couldn't figure out what the problem was, except that I'm not a fast typist, so the the one-minute clock was tear-rorizing me. As I mentioned to Teresa, writing a herky-jerky poem from the start helped.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Dee Martin said...

I think you have definitely conquered it!

11:03 PM  
Blogger murat11 said...

Dee: Poor choice of words, on my part. Found a way in, maybe...

8:54 AM  

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