CROSSED PURPOSES
The last time I saw Gerald, he told me he’d finally found the purpose to his life.
“I finally found the purpose to my life,” he said.
I told him that I already said that as the opening paragraph to my story about his having found the purpose to his life.
“What did you say in the paragraph?” he said.
“That the last time I saw you, you told me you had finally found the purpose to your life.”
“Is this the last time you saw me?” he said.
“Probably,” I said.
“Why is that?”
“Because I finally found the purpose to my life.”
“And what is that, pray tell?”
“To write the story of your having found the purpose to your life.”
“Wow, really?”
“Really.”
“Must you actually leave to tell this story?”
“It’s recommended.”
“By whom?”
“Family physicians. Food artists. Canine grief therapists.”
“That’s a wide sample, mon frere.”
“It is a wide sample. Very wide. It’s even wide in French.”
“Speaking of French, is it ‘to’ or ‘for?’”
“To or for what?”
“Purpose to your life or purpose for your life?”
“I think it’s ‘of.’”
“But, you typed ‘to.’”
“Well, in truth, Gerald, I haven’t typed anything yet. You keep yapping at me.”
“Could you put ‘of’ instead of ‘to’? It would mean a lot to me. It would mean almost as much as my Leif Erickson CD.”
“Leif had a CD? Isn’t that pushing things a bit? Vikings in the studio?”
“Who’s pushing? You never heard of his jamming with Hendrix at Electric Ladyland?”
“Wait a minute. You mean Leaf Erickson.”
“Right. Leif.”
“No. Leaf. Background vocals on ‘The Wind Cries Mary’?”
“There are no background vocals on ‘The Wind Cries Mary.’”
“Exactly. That’s Leaf.”
“Leif?”
“Yes. Leaf.”
“I’m bewildered.”
“Is that it?”
“Is that what?”
“The purpose of your life.”
“Is what the purpose of my life?”
“Bewilderment.”
“It certainly seems to be the purpose to yours,” said Gerald, as he leaved…leafed…leifed…lephed.
I haven’t seen him since.
[This wasn't the assignment. Shh. Don't tell the urchins...]
“I finally found the purpose to my life,” he said.
I told him that I already said that as the opening paragraph to my story about his having found the purpose to his life.
“What did you say in the paragraph?” he said.
“That the last time I saw you, you told me you had finally found the purpose to your life.”
“Is this the last time you saw me?” he said.
“Probably,” I said.
“Why is that?”
“Because I finally found the purpose to my life.”
“And what is that, pray tell?”
“To write the story of your having found the purpose to your life.”
“Wow, really?”
“Really.”
“Must you actually leave to tell this story?”
“It’s recommended.”
“By whom?”
“Family physicians. Food artists. Canine grief therapists.”
“That’s a wide sample, mon frere.”
“It is a wide sample. Very wide. It’s even wide in French.”
“Speaking of French, is it ‘to’ or ‘for?’”
“To or for what?”
“Purpose to your life or purpose for your life?”
“I think it’s ‘of.’”
“But, you typed ‘to.’”
“Well, in truth, Gerald, I haven’t typed anything yet. You keep yapping at me.”
“Could you put ‘of’ instead of ‘to’? It would mean a lot to me. It would mean almost as much as my Leif Erickson CD.”
“Leif had a CD? Isn’t that pushing things a bit? Vikings in the studio?”
“Who’s pushing? You never heard of his jamming with Hendrix at Electric Ladyland?”
“Wait a minute. You mean Leaf Erickson.”
“Right. Leif.”
“No. Leaf. Background vocals on ‘The Wind Cries Mary’?”
“There are no background vocals on ‘The Wind Cries Mary.’”
“Exactly. That’s Leaf.”
“Leif?”
“Yes. Leaf.”
“I’m bewildered.”
“Is that it?”
“Is that what?”
“The purpose of your life.”
“Is what the purpose of my life?”
“Bewilderment.”
“It certainly seems to be the purpose to yours,” said Gerald, as he leaved…leafed…leifed…lephed.
I haven’t seen him since.
[This wasn't the assignment. Shh. Don't tell the urchins...]
Labels: Grace Paley, Robin Hood, You are Number 6
posted by murat11 at 6:29 PM
5 Comments:
Interesting Murat. Do you read things like that to your students? If so I wonder what their reactions would be? I liked the playing with words in the last part. Did you ever hear of an play a game called Dangling Conversations? Maybe some day you and I could reinvent it over breakfast.
I have a new classroom, 3rd graders. It is a good place to be. My first lesson with be with adjectives and spread over a week. We have pictures! And we have people to describe. All according to the TEKS of course. :)
Hopoe!
Lee:
I generally do read my weird stuff to the kids, though they're more interested when their names are part of the story. There's no Gerald in any of my classes; I think Geralds only exist over the age of 61.
The only Dangling Conversation I'm familiar with is the old Simon and Garfunkel song.
Best of luck to you with your 3rd-lers. You should have fun.
Peace.
Lee told me to read you. I did in disbeleaf.
Mr. 11, the next time you might want to peruse a light yet entertaining novel chockfull of literary allusions and metafictional pithery, might I suggest Jasper Fforde. I think you might enjoy his writing as you seem to have a similar sense of the humorous.
Ms ALT: I shall do so. I've had him on the radar for awhile now, ever since he first surfaced (for me) over at the turtling epicenter.
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